Ah Foam!

Anyone who knows me, knows that I spend pretty much every weekend at a GLBTQ camp ground from late April until mid Oct.  It is in the Cascades in Washington State.  No phones, No internet and 80 acre's of amazing camping.  A couple great friends and my partner have a semi-permanent site there.  Now leave it to the Queers to amp everything up.  So we have solar panels and battery banks, generators, disco balls, lights, music and one hell of a group of Camp friends.   


We do also have our quite times in the woods, we also have five parties a year.  Now my favorites, are the Black Forest(Leather) Party which combines Canada Day and Independence Day for one amazing party weekend, the other favorite is the Foam Party in August.  The Foam Party is exactly that "Foam".  We have a Party area set up with a Dj, bar and dance floor.  They put walls and rails on the dance floor, up to a low chest level.  The foam machine is installed at the peak of the ceiling and faces downward, onto the center of the dance floor.  The center can pile as high as the ceiling, 20' ish, and dwindles down to a few feet at the edge.  


So the first foam party I went to I was in no way going to get in that foam!  First my chest had only had the first surgery, which the guy butchered me.  Second, is it sanitary?!?!?!?  I mean really.  I would never take my top off in public, no hair on my chest to hide the shape and scars.  I  stood out in the common area and drank, talked, flirted and drank a bit more.  Meanwhile, friends have all been in and have raved about it and are thinking about another trip in.  I got another cocktail!


Bryan(friend/Camp mate)  was doing his best all night to convince me to get in.  He had worked all sorts of angles through the night.  I am not exactly sure what ended up working, I do know the  booze helped though.  So I geared down to just underpants.  Thankfully it was night and even with bar type lighting I felt safer then normal.  I also was pretty close to the dance floor, trying not to have to walk through everyone.


So we danced and danced, it was so fun.  I would burrow though the foam and find people to dance with, sometimes get a squeeze or give one and the occasional kiss along the way.  After being in there for a long time, I needed a cocktail.  Bryan and I went and got drinks had a couple smokes.  He was chatting with this guy as I came back from some where.  I asked if he had been in the foam yet, he had not but was interested and not at the same time.  


This translated, means please pick me up from behind, carry me to the dance floor and push me in the foam, So I DID.  As we got to the dance floor this guy reached around and grabbed my dick, well what he thought was my dick.  he gave it a little rub and tug, I guess thinking he might as well get a feel before hitting the foam...  Well did I mention I have a silicone dick?!?!?!?!?  


Awkward!  


So as he was tugging I pushed him into the foam.  Come on think about it....  Like a rubber band, my underpants stretched out for what seemed like feet.  He had my dick in his hand in my underwear but I was not attached to me.  SNAP!  My dick came slapping home as he went flying into the foam, in the center where he would be lost while I gain my composure.  


I ran back laughing so hard from the look on his face as he realized things were not right.  I hid behind Bryan for a minute while I told him what had happened.  I really didn't want the guy to come out looking for me, even if it would be just for questions.   


The snapping noise and the slap of my dick returning to its home, will never be forgotten.  We still tell this story at camp and when out with new people and act out the tossing into the foam scene with noises and faces to suit.  We laugh every time.


Ah yes, My Life with a Silicone Dick!!!!!!

So many signs!

When I look back in my life I can see so many things that led me down this path.  What I want to know is, "Why the F*ck did it take me so long to see them!".  


I was all of 9 years old.  My cousins Michael and Victoria were living at our house at the time.  Michael and I are 1 1/2 years apart in age, Michael being the older.  Michael and I were inseparable as kids.  If there was trouble, we found it.  When apart from each other we did way better.  


It was a great day, near the end of summer.  One of those hot days with the cool breeze.  Our family was living in this tiny white house in Vernon, down by Waddy's.  If you know Vernon, you should be able to figure out exactly where the following all took place. If you were to stand in front of Waddy's facing away from the door, and look at the hills you would see this singular weeping willow.  It was so beautiful, all alone on the hills with nothing but shrubs and pine trees.  Why was it all alone?  How was it alive in that area?  They need so much water and it was all desert like in those hills.


Michael and I decided we were going to go explore this "Mountain"!  We geared up in our cammo pants, rock n roll t-shirts and set out.  We made it up there to find this crazy oasis.  There was a hidden pond surrounding the tree, it was so beautiful.  We decided to keep looking around and see if there was a way to the tree or anything else to explore.  The pond acted like the trees own moat to keep enemies out.  


We were sitting and enjoying the dirt, sun and the view when out of the tall pines dove this magnificent hawk.  He was diving at us!!!!   Holy crap!!!!  We ducked behind some rocks and watched it fly back up.  What the hell?  We were just sitting there, then as we were discussing this you could hear hawks start screaming.  We look at each other and started to run.  Faster, less control, down the hill....


Birds were diving at us while we ran, loosing our footing and sliding on our asses.  Catching just enough of an edge to kind of stand and run for a second more before sliding in this loose gravel.  Finally the hawks gave up and let us be.  We were almost at the bottom of the hill by this time.  We looked at each other and laughed uncontrollably.  Partially off of adrenaline and the other at how we looked.  We were covered in dirt and dust from head to toe.  A few scrapes here and there but we were alive!


When we reached the bottom, we were in some parking lot for apartments.  We dusted ourselves off and laughed some more.  As we were doing this, these two girls walked up and asked what we were laughing at.  So Michael started explaining how him and his cousin(me) were up the hill and how we got to the bottom.  Ooooo the girls were impressed and worried.  Asking if we were okay and what we saw and......


I guess Michael noticed the interest from the girls, he was flirting.  They asked our names and Michael said his and pointed at me and called me a dudes name.  I guess I should have flinched but I didn't.  Wow, they think I'm a dude.  No questions, just matter of fact.  We spent the whole day hanging with these girls and flirting.  Holding hands, running around and them looking after the two great explorers.


It was so easy and I felt great!  I normally felt so awkward interacting with people that weren't already friends.  All they ever saw was this super tomboy kid that didn't fit.  Not that day!  That day I was king of the world!  


A week later Michael and I were at Woodwards with my mom getting some back to school clothes.  We were in the kids area when all of a sudden the girls came up and started talking with us.  Michael and I were dying "What if my mom hears?"  "How do we explain this?"


We ducked into one area then another trying to keep them apart.  We ended up in shit and I can't remember if it was lying to the girls or acting like asses in a store.  


One of the BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE!  I remember feeling great and that I wasn't worried about being caught.  It was such a natural feeling.  After that I went back to awkward me who never fit any where, not even in my own skin.  Shocking it took so long to figure out the inner workings.  


Still smile thinking back on this, I think I always will!